The Hills in Our Lives is the culmination of an unbelievably amazing chapter of struggle in my life! I was in a huge battle with depression for about four years after my wife of twenty years left me without warning in January of 2014. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back and caused me to hit rock bottom, which is where I found God waiting for me … more about that later.
After several months of just being in shock over what happened, I had isolated myself by moving onto a 20,000-acre hunting ranch in the Texas Hill Country, where I worked as a hunting guide. Since I could do most of what was required at the ranch in my sleep, this move afforded me lots of time to work on … or rather learn to let God work on … rebuilding me into the person He had designed me to be all along. As my walk with Him and my faith began to grow, I started seeing life differently … through the lens of His eyes! However, no matter how good I was doing, any time a string of 7-20 straight days of hunting would end, I’d find myself exhausted and would end up feeling lonely and depressed because I didn’t understand why my life was falling apart. I talked to God about what happened a lot, but the cycle just kept on repeating itself, over and over, like I was living in the movie Groundhog Day.
Finally, January 6, 2019, I’d finished up a hunt the day before and went to church in Utopia, Texas. Service was great, and I came out all happy and feeling “full of Jesus.” I hadn’t been home in a couple weeks, so I decided I’d go straight from there to Bandera to check my PO box and check on my house. I had my radio tuned to Christian radio station KLove, as always, and I was driving through the hills, just happily singing praises and continuing my morning worship.
I don’t know if you’ve ever driven from Utopia to Bandera on FM 470, but it’s a very winding, little two-lane road that cuts through some really rugged hills along the way. Every time the terrain would dip, I’d start having static or other stations bleeding in over my KLove. Needless to say, it didn’t take much of that distraction to “harsh my mellow” and finally, just begin to irritate me.
I yelled irreverently, “GOD! I’m just trying to sing praises to You! Why can’t I just hear my station and sing to You?!!!”
A soft, little voice replied from somewhere deep in my soul. “It’s the hills interfering with the radio wave transmissions.”
“I know!” I replied, “But You’re God! Aren’t You powerful enough to help the signal get to me when You know I need it?!!!”
The soft, little voice answered, “It’s the same problem you keep having with your shifting moods and feelings of loneliness. You have hills in your life. They cause you to take your focus off of Me. You forget that I am always with you … just like when your radio loses its signal as you drive through the hills. This is the lesson you need to seek answers for so you can share the truth with others in the same struggle. Don’t let the hills in your life break your communion with Me!”
To say the least, I was beyond humbled and stunned at the revelation, and I didn’t ask any more questions on the rest of the drive home. And oddly, my radio never lost signal again the remainder of that trip.
I had pondered that conversation a lot in the year since it happened. Almost a year to the day, I was again tired and driving through the hills and sure enough, right in the middle of one of my favorite songs, a Spanish station started bleeding in and out, completely ruining my holy peace. Forgetting my humility momentarily, I banged on my dash and cried out, “God! Not now! I love this song, and I need it right now!”
That same, quiet, little voice replied again, “When you’re trying to commune with Me and the hills interrupt, it’s really irritating, isn’t it?”
A bit bewildered at the thought, I answered, “YES!!! Exactly!”
Then the little voice said, “I’m trying to commune with you 24/7, but you’re still allowing the hills in your life to interrupt all that I’m trying to do in, for, and through you.” That drove the point home to me! God created man to need God and have constant communion in our walk with Him through this short amount of time we get to spend here on Planet Earth, before we are joined with Him forever in the land of no more sorrows, tears, or death (Revelation 21:4). He is INFINITELY good and wants nothing more than to lead us down the perfect path He has created just for each of us as individuals. This is so we can learn for ourselves and show others how to fully engage with Him, enjoying the life of immeasurable grace, peace, and joy that He has designed for us all. I have come to realize that we mess that all up on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
For the last several years, I have been on a quest to remedy that problem in my own life. I have made progress and learned a lot. The main thing I have learned is that I am not very good at holding up my end of the deal, but none of us are, as Romans 3:23 so clearly points out:
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God!
Luckily for us, God is infinitely perfect at holding up His end of the deal, so much so that He has provided us with a foolproof means of staying forever under His grace, despite our continual failure to live up to His standard. That is the message I pray I can articulate clearly and simply enough for you to take away from this book.
I’ll state right here in the introduction that as a person in my own strength and knowledge, I, by no means, feel even remotely qualified to write such a manuscript for life. If I were God, there are lots of people who are far more versed in the Scriptures who I might have chosen to attempt to deliver this message. But for some reason, the need I feel to pen these words just refuses to diminish, even though I have fought the urge for a couple years now. That said, I am just trying to let the thoughts flow from my soul to my computer without trying to filter them through my own brain. Since I don’t feel that God called the qualified for this project, I am trusting that He will qualify the one He called and praying that He uses these words to illuminate the message to you in such a way as to bring you to His place of peace that truly surpasses human understanding (Philippians 4:6-9). As I am learning daily, it really is an awesome place to live your best life, and more and more, I find that my circumstances (good or bad, easy or difficult) have no bearing on the peace in my soul, or the joy in my heart, just as the apostle Paul stated in Philippians 4:11-13:
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
My prayer is that when you read this book, you’ll be equipped with every tool you need to join me in this awesome place of peace.
Father, we thank You for Your infinite grace and mercy, and for the good plan You’ve created for our lives. As we begin this journey, seeking to identify and eliminate the hills from our lives, which cause us to, even momentarily, shift our focus off of You and onto our circumstances, we ask that You open our eyes and hearts to allow us to see and taste that You are good so that we can become the blessed one who takes refuge in You alone (Psalm 34:8). Grant us wisdom and faith to understand and believe that You truly work all things for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). Humble us in Your presence, Lord, and give us the strength to get out of our own way, and out of Your way, so that You can make us more like Christ and use us to the fullest extent in our mission to glorify Your name … and let us begin to comprehend the immense peace and joy that comes from yielding to You in all that we do. In Jesus’s mighty name, we pray. Amen.